Friday, July 15, 2011

How to Ignore Insults


Feel insulted? How do you deal when someone says something that hurts, makes you angry, or is intended to make you look foolish? Try these steps!

Steps
  1. Don't react. Keep your expression completely neutral, and just shake your head.

  2. Ask them why they're attacking you. This assumes that it's an unprovoked attack (you didn't do something to anger or upset them that you're aware of).
  3. Accept responsibility for your actions. If they answer, and their reason actually makes sense, address the problem right then. You have to be honest with yourself.
    • Example: You: "What did I do to deserve that?"
    • Him: "You snubbed me yesterday, walking by all high and mighty with your friends, pretending like I wasn't there."
    • You: "I did?" (look surprised). "Dude, I don't remember it. Are you sure I saw you?"
    • Him: "You looked right at me, jerk."
    • You: "Really? You know what, we were talking about (insert subject here) and I was really focused on that. I don't even think I realized you were there. Listen, I'm really sorry for that, I didn't mean to snub you. Let me go get those guys, I know they're going to feel bad, too." Bring your friends over, explain how your actions hurt this person, and apologize - get all of them to apologize if you can.
  4. Anger, hurt and insecurity are the root of most insults. If you hurt someone, even unintentionally, they may respond with angry insults. Also, insecure people tend to call attention to the shortcomings of others (even if untrue) in order to cover up for their own perceived inadequacies. Don't retaliate.
  5. Respond with humor. If you aren't at fault, and it's a random insult attack, responding with humor can sometimes disarm them. For example, someone calls you a porker or something like that, say "Really? I like to think of myself as a fatso." or "Why thank you!" cheerfully. That will probably get them to stop.
  6. Walk away. If you've tried to figure out why this person is targeting you, and can find no reason, tried to joke with them to no avail, and they're still bent on humiliating and insulting you, just leave. And until they pick a new target (and they will), avoid them.
  7. Let the bully look bad for the insult. A lot of times, you really don't have to do much to make this happen. Just taking the insult, or responding very mildly can do the trick, and it can turn the tide of public opinion in your favor. Example:

    • Bully: Hey dork. Is it hard to find such dorky clothes, or do you just come by them naturally?
    • You: (In a quiet, humble voice) Actually, these clothes were my older cousin's. Since my dad lost his job, our family hasn't had much money for clothes, so we have to make do with what we can get. I know they're sort of the height of fashion from 5 years ago, aren't they? Not really very hip. But whatever. We can't afford anything else.
    • Bully: (sneering) Aw. Poor widdle baby can't get any better clothes. Wah. You're breaking my heart. Not.
    • You: (stay humble) I wasn't looking for sympathy. You asked a question and I answered. (hopefully others are overhearing this)
    • Bully: If I were you, I'd tell my folks to either get me some decent clothes or send me to another school.
    • You: (sigh) I really feel bad for my dad and don't want to make him feel worse. So I'm not going to ask for anything for myself right now. In fact, I'm looking for a job, to try and help with expenses for my family.
    • Others: Yeah. Leave him/her alone, man. S/he's not doing anything to you.
    • Bully: Oh, fine. You can all have a little pity party with that poor crybaby. I'm outta here.
      • And that will probably end that bullying, at least in that way. When others join in and defend you, the bully will seek an easier target - one where he feels more sure of finding allies. Bullies don't generally like to stand on their own two feet - they like feeling like a lot of people are behind them. They bully people because when others chime in, it makes them feel better about themselves somehow. When others don't want to join them, they back off.
  1. 1
        • Bullies are usually insecure people and if they are tormenting you do not respond with humour near his or her friends instead of retalliating with an insult just bully him by saying,for example wow you can talk {pick out anything bad about them }that jacket looks like you ugly and weak minded.

this however is not an insult but will get his emotions doown will usually affect bullies very well{basic psychology}. this was written by a 12 year old that has had the unfortunate experience of bullying

Tips

  • If your best efforts to take the wind out of their sails fail, warn others to expect random insults from that person.
  • Don't take it personally. Some people are just mean. Mean people suck and everyone knows it. And also look at who they hang out with.
  • Don't insult them back. It just adds fuel to the fire.
  • If you're asked why the guy/girl is acting like that toward you, say honestly that you don't know. Don't trash talk them to anyone. In that way, they look like (what they probably are) a loony freak, and you look like an innocent, injured person.
  • Smirking, acting superior or completely ignoring them is probably not a good idea. Again, react with humor, it usually works best. If the insulter is just being nasty, then you can ignore them.
  • Don't let anyone mess with you. Try to ignore them as best you can or shoot an insult back to them.


Warnings

  • If you do respond, even to apologize, and the harassment continues, beware of bullies. Some people are not content to simply verbally harrass you. If it escalates to a point where you fear they're going to get physical, tell someone. Tell a teacher, a friend, your parents. They can help.

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